A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. ~ Albert Einstein
I've been discussing how 2012 is very much about shifts and the questions that life has been bringing us with others and here on this blog. Now, I'd like to discuss how we need to come up with answers to our questions, as I believe our healing, both on an inner and outer level, depends on actually answering them.
I'd like to focus at this time on the physical level. I believe that if we take steps to slow down, and find inward calm then we can approach the outer world from a more settled mind. Then we'll be able to help others to take similar steps. Simple actions, such as regular meditation, exercise like yoga, reading instead of television, and making space in your life for family and friends can help you to feel better emotionally, inwardly, spiritually and physically.
You may have been having guiding dreams related to what I'm talking about. These dreams can help you to find answers to your life questions. Perhaps you've even had a series of dreams and outer reminders about stress, relationships and other issues, especially those surrounding your health needs. Others, perhaps unasked, may be making recommendations to you. But, somehow you're able to tune out these reminders and push off potential changes, even when knowing they'll be helpful. However, Numerologically, quality time can now be spent considering your self-care routine, which can help foster your healing and growth.
Of course, your dreams may also be related to many other mental, emotional or spiritual issues. Yet, no matter the issue, it can eventually take a toll on physical health, especially when it's related to worry, doubt and anxiety. So, again, if you're being nudged to make changes, inwardly by dreams or outwardly by others, it can be important and rewarding to make a connection with your dreams. It's really about recognizing that the separation between what you and I think of as the unconscious and waking reality is thin. And, that's what I believe Albert was talking about. Everything is connected.
Your dreams are offering guidance and they always have. And as the Numerological theme for 2012 is related to the mystery, magic and mystical in life, you can connect to your own magic by paying attention to your dreams and the wisdom they bring. It's also about recognizing that your dreams are actually bringing your own inner knowledge, which you need for your outer life, and it can also be valuable to others.
Early in 2012 I had a simple, yet powerful healing dream, which I'm still learning from. In the dream I saw a smoky and charred frozen food box in the oven. The oven was on, but there was no fire. That was it. I'd already been making many new food choices, but in reality I was relying on too many frozen and quick cook options. I've since started cooking more of my own food. I recognized the dream as a real opportunity to make a “healthy choice” in my eating habits. And, I know I have more work to do too.
I'm focusing on healing and physical needs because 2013 brings with it opportunities for clearing and healing on a deeply personal level. While 2012 is allowing us to look at changes within our lives, and how we actually have greater influence on the world around us than we know, 2013 will allow us to reconnect and make space for comfort, life, relationships, love and family. This is in itself can be very rejuvenating.
Since 2013 is Numerologically related to relationship and connections, connection will be an important issue in 2013. However, you'll need to be able to make yourself fully available, rather than just connecting on a superficial level. Again, our dreams can reflect the true changes that our lives need for shifting or growth. Some of your healing work may involve recognizing when you let yourself hide from being truly present. And, healing work for many of us may involve addressing the Shadow.
Personal satisfaction with life is often fostered by reconnecting with the activities and people that bring happiness and joy. So, being involved in community, especially where it's connected to the heart, can help you to step more deeply into life. What's exciting is that people like Professor Nicholas Chistakis have done research showing that each additional happy person in your social circle makes you happier! In other words, happiness is contagious! Energetically, you'll feel pulled to spend more time with those who are close to you.
However, the challenge for many may be to make space for social time. That may involve slowing down, finding ways to believe in yourself, or healing family issues. Whatever your challenge is, remember that healing can take compassion, patience and time. Of course, not all issues will have a simple fix, but the first steps may require that you want to heal. Healing does require compassion, especially for ourselves. We have to believe that we're worth it! But, as we heal and share ourselves, we can bring about changes in the outer world we never expected.
As we're approaching 2013 you may want to focus on the following healing related questions:
You can also benefit by reviewing your Numerology Personal Year at this time. What is its theme? You might want to evaluate where it might conflict with the Universal Year theme of 2012 and 2013. Also, where does it energetically match up with the themes of these two years. If there is a conflict, some of what you're working on might seem challenging. But, with a little persistence, patience and compassion, you should be able to reach your goals. Again, it's really about valuing and believing in yourself and your abilities and honoring your dreams!
I'm available to discuss more about your Personal Year, 2012, 2013, Numerology and your dreams! Just contact me via twitter (tweet or DM), skype or email.
Because of a challenging or stressful situation you may experience Soul Loss. In Psychological terms Soul Loss is disassociation. It's a loss of part of yourself. During the event you may want to hide, run away or just numb out. According to shamanic beliefs, when this happens a part of you does actually split off and hide, so that it can be safe. Over time, you'll unconsciously recognize that you have an “empty space” inside and try to fill that space. You might try to refill this emptiness through food, drugs, alcohol, sex, sleep or just about anything. You're unconsciously trying to heal, or at least cover up, this wound. But, real healing comes from retrieving these lost parts.
Some common complaints you might have after years of experiencing Soul Loss:
You can begin to reclaim these lost parts of yourself through therapy/counseling, your own process of reintegration or Soul Retrieval. With Soul Retrieval a shamanic practitioner will help you to bring back these lost parts by taking you through a journeying process. The practitioner can chant, and drums or rattles, as you enter a meditative state and ask to find this part. When you find it you can help it to heal. It may offer or have something for you to bring back to the outer world. You can then bring back your soul part, and healing power from whatever objects it may have, to your life. You'll then start to feel more fully alive and whole.
You can also create your own process for recovery. You could do this through art, acting, movement, singing, dancing or any kind of creative endeavor. A focus for recovery should be on your inner spiritual nature. How can your chosen activity help you to step into the mystery of your life? You might choose to paint out your feelings about a certain traumatic event. You could then use this painting as a way to more deeply explore your feelings. It might capture an essence of your feelings that you just could not put into words. You could then display your painting in a special place and allow its message and meaning to come to you over time. Other works of creativity might even be inspired from it.In my own work I often simply use paper and pencil. When I'm looking at a dream or have had a challenging experience, I'll draw out the feelings or images that might bother me. I was reviewing a recent experience, and what I connected to was a heaviness. Also, an image that came to mind was of me carrying a car-size chunk of street/cement on my back. After drawing I realized that the heavy feeling was related to a need to save everyone from pain. But, I can't do that. I do realize that the feelings are very connected to ego. So, I can benefit most by reminded myself that I may need to help myself first, before I can help everybody else. I can also work on letting go of the need to be the hero.
Whatever route you take, know that it's about healing the empty spaces inside of you. Instead of trying to escape the pain that your emptiness can bring, you're signaling that you're calling life back. You're standing up and honoring your true self. It might be challenging. But, as you allow yourself to become more whole, you'll be a beacon of inspiration to yourself and others.
We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves. ~ Pema Chodron
Valerie Frankel, of Oprah.com, has posted an article titled ‘Exploring the love drug, joy and sex’. It’s primarily about understanding and enjoying the initial feelings that come with falling in love. It seems like we’ll need these emotions and feelings forever. The author talks about how she feels she is limerent, which is describes an involuntary state, cognitive or emotional, of deeply intense romantic desire for someone else.
Ms. Frankel interviews Dorothy Tennov, Ph.D and Helen Fischer Ph.D on the subject of limerence and love. They both feel that the feeling of limerence will last between 2 to 3 years, but they also state that it can last for longer periods of time. The experts discuss how relationships flow into different stages in which our feelings change and fluctuate. And, Fischer says, "My point is that relationships can be fluid. You can flow from one stage to another if you're able to put energy and attention into the relationship," she says.
Indeed, I can see in my own relationships that limerence can be part of a give-and-take within the relationship. Usually, as I get to know a woman it is a powerful initial feeling, especially when I was younger. But, I feel that a solid, healthy and growing relationship trades its limerent feelings for more fully developed relationship bonds. It’s about knowing and fully honoring the other person, and owning and taking responsibility for the shadow traits and characteristics that you have placed on that person.
The more you can truly honor the other person for who he or she really is, then the more you can develop a real and lasting relationship with them. Working with a tool like the Enneagram can be of great benefit here, because it helps us to understand the motivations behind our desires and actions. Other relationship tools, like Relationship Discussion groups, can serve as important guides in your relationships as well.
What first flashes in your mind when you hear the words “personal strength”? For me, courage, power and determination immediately pop into my consciousness. I am sure that something similar comes to mind for you. Having personal strength includes many aspects of self-awareness and self-realization. It’s important to feel and accept that we are all have strength. It’s about really believing in yourself. Interestingly, this is what many of the newer spiritual books and movies are trying to convey.
I’d like to focus on the fact that self-knowledge, along with determination, can help you to be better able to avoid many of the destructive behaviors, which can hold you in unwanted repetitive patterns. That is why developing personal strength is so vital and important! Ideally, your learning and growth can help you to break through any inner struggles, especially those associated with guilt, anger and resentment.
Within Numerology we’ve talked about many ways in which you can get to know yourself better, so that you can come to terms with your own innate talents, strengths and characteristics. You are probably well aware that you can utilize shadow work with shadow material, especially your personal projections. Within Psychology, projection is used as a kind of defense mechanism. You “project” your “shadow”, which is your own unwanted or unaccepted, both good and bad, characteristics and attributes onto other people.
Quite often, many of us today, especially those jaded by psychological insights, might say that you can get stuck in a pattern of narcissistic inward/internal insight. People on the other extreme, might say that “everything is projection”. You’ll have to find the balance for yourself. But, if you try to use your experiences for personal growth you may find yourself on the right track. Of course, understanding this process is not necessarily easy to do. Coming to terms with your repressed or rejected material is not necessarily easy work. But, accepting and acknowledging both the "good" and "bad" parts of yourself will allow you to develop compassion and become more tolerant of yourself and others.
That is why developing your personal strength is so important. Working with your shadow can indeed be a very difficult and serious undertaking. Guidance can come from many sources, including television, books and movies. Movies like "Pleasantville" show us that there we can channel our shadow material into creative and life changing endeavors. Other movies portray the negative side of the shadow through characters like Jason, Freddie or Jigsaw. Obviously these movies and characters are extreme examples, but consider the fact that you may be unconsciously living your life while allowing unconscious actions and decisions to sabotage you. The purpose of shadow work is to help you side step these self-destructive patterns.
Psychological work and your personal shadow, combined with Numerology, can help you to develop a deeper sense for the meaning within your personal numbers. Once you develop this deeper sense your Numerology reading can guide you toward developing greater empathy and compassion for yourself and others, and you may be better able to understand other people's plight.
Now, instead of discussing any particular number, I’d like to offer something a little different. I think that you might be able to better connect the dots between your personal numbers and your own unique traits by answering some key questions. The answers can tie directly with personal information from your numbers that you probably already know! But, these questions may help you to make the material feel more alive. This might be a powerful way to take a step back and gain some deeper personal insights. These questions, along with suggestions for the Numerological numbers that may be of best use in helping to answer them, are below. Write down your answers and try to find a way to discuss the list with others.
The answers to these questions may help you to develop a greater sense of where your strengths are. You may be surprised that you gain confidence, courage and strength from activities that you have come to disparage, or simply have no time for. Perhaps you feel recharged after listening to music, yet never find the time to sit and listen. Perhaps painting soothes you, yet your inner critic prevents you from ever actually picking up a brush.
For me, I’ve been looking at the books that I enjoy reading. I’ve found that although I tend to read a wide array of topics, it boils down to reading a lot about creative people. I find it fascinating to explore the way different people think and write. This inspires me to think differently and have the drive, stamina and courage to find outlets for my own creativity, even if I am only going to draw a picture for myself.
When you are ready to dig deeper, you can compare your answers with the knowledge that your personal numbers can provide. However, you might be amazed at the information that is brought up just by answering the questions. I also think that a deeper analysis should come in conjunction with conversations with supportive people in your life.
Although we think we might ‘know’ the answer to a question, it’s a different story to see the answer on paper. All too often we lose sight of our own potential due to issues around time, crisis, or events and circumstances that we think are outside of our control. In life, these circumstances may cause us to let go of our true potential. This can definitely contribute to the growth and development of inner turmoil. Writing down everything, and shining a light on your image of yourself and your inner desires and dreams can be a way to begin to work with any internal confusion and hopefully find ways to dissolve it.
Just remember that Life is an ongoing learning experience. It’s also important to keep in mind that we all have strengths and weaknesses. We are all unique. As you go through life, it is vitally important that you’re able to, and allow yourself to continue to grow and learn about who you really are! As you do this you can better develop your personal strengths. Hopefully, you also be more aware of your weaknesses, and be better equipped to prevent them from getting in your way.
Accepting and admitting that you do possess certain traits, qualities or characteristics, rather than sweeping them under the proverbial rug, is a healthy and beneficial, although perhaps difficult, part of learning about yourself and coming to terms with your own Personal Strength!
In a recent interview with Discovery News, Psychologist Stephen Diamond talks about the motivation behind cruel and destructive acts. He believes that "evil acts" don't come out the clear blue, but have some sort of foreshadowing.
I believe that we all can do destructive things. Of course, normally we don't commit acts that are as personally or publicly ruinous as those of the headlines. In order to instill a basic sense of morality, Diamond mentions the importance of setting boundaries and limits for children. But, what happens when we get older? That's when the importance of being grounded, centered and having some way to be conscious of your actions, perhaps by working with your shadow, can be important.
For myself, I recognize that part of my work really centers around recognizing my potentially hurtful capabilities around anger. This means that I involves finding healthy, functional and constructive ways to express my anger. It might recognizing that with some people, there is no true resolution to my differences with them and being okay with that. But, for others it's about expressing my thoughts in the moment in a way that values and honors both of us. It's not about lashing out, but giving helpful feedback and expressing in ways that don't necessarily cause others to be defended.
Some questions that might be helpful:
The Psychology of Evil - By Stephen Diamond
I've just finished reading the book "The Shadow Effect". It's an exciting and interesting read about working with the human shadow. It is definitely a book that I can imagine that I will recommend to anyone who is interested in finding ways to improve their lives, and to learn about becoming aware of how you sabotage yourself.
The three authors all have their own vision for working with the shadow. Deepak Chopra tries to get us to see that we're human, and not perfect, and that we have the capacity for so much more than we can see or believe. Debbie Ford paints a picture of her early life and shows us that she survived drug addiction, by recognizing her faults and striving to not use them as a crutch or an excuse, to become the person she is today. Marianne Williamson talks about the importance of compassion and love. These three perspectives really meld together well, and help to bring clarity to an often misunderstood subject.
I was reading through reviews of the book and someone had commented that it seemed like the book was a platform for the longer workshops that the authors offer. Now, for really learning about how your shadow can undermine and control you life, a workshop can be a great place to begin your work. But, if you're not ready for that level of commitment yet, there are effective steps that you can take.
How do you work with the shadow? One of the best ways to work with your shadow could be to remind yourself of the phrase: "If you spot it, you got it." in other words, if you're critical of someone for a particular trait or offense, then you can benefit by first looking to where you do the things that you dislike in others. We are usually doing the exact same thing that we are critical of others for.
Within Numerology, you can look to your Core Numbers to see where you might be dealing with your shadow in your life? For instance, since your Life Path number involves what you want to do with your life, it may offer some clear guidance about changes that you can make to be better able to follow it. If you feel that you've strayed off of your path, then that's when you need to be especially aware of the potential damaging effects of the shadow, because doubt and regret, as well as other more powerful feelings and emotions, can build up and come flooding out at the worst time.
For me, I recently attended my second Shadow conference. Really got the most benefit by trying to remember the last time that I let myself be really angry in the moment, and express it constructively with others. I recognized that it's okay and normal to be in the anger. I can usually go there, but i dont like it. Yet, It's when I hold back the anger that problems can build up. So, for me, part of my work involves finding healthy and constructive ways to express when I'm upset or angry.
You can continue your work by accepting that there is more to you than what you share with the world right now. This can be an incredible and freeing first step.
In order to identify where the shadow is in your life, you can use the questions below:
“Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.” --- Salvador Dali
Why do we compare ourselves to others? At times, we all do it. It may be because when we are growing up we hear things like "You should be like your father," or “Your mother wouldn’t do it that way,” or “Why can’t you be more like your brother,” and on and on.
We all want to be like our idols. We want to be perfect. Yet, you are who you are. Of course, you can strive to better and improve yourself, but at some point you also must acknowledge there can always someone who may be better than you, whether in actuality or perception only. Others may be better looking, better skilled or better communicators. However, this doesn’t mean that you should stop trying, but it can mean that you need to more fully understand your need for perfection.
Also, you can’t know the internal reality of anyone else. You don’t know his/her true story. When you project superiority or perfection onto someone else, you are not seeing that person for who he or she really is. You may actually be seeing shadow aspects of yourself.
You can look to your Outer Number to see how “others may see you”, but you can never truly know how your qualities and traits are actually observed by others. Others may unfairly label you, or incorrectly see aspects of your personality that you have not yet fully developed.
For example, if you have an Outer Number of 8, others may be drawn into your world because they see that you can be a strong leader. Some may be tempted to imitate or copy your demeanor, while others try to implement advice that you give them.
However, in order to be a truly successful mentor, guide or leader you may first have to recognize that you are not perfect. You are not necessarily the person others see. To strive to be the powerful person others can see, you may first have to face down your own inner and outer demons. You must become your own guide or hero, before you can be one for others. As you mature you will gain an understanding of what this really means for you. Your charge might be to simply stand up to the office bully, or it could mean that you become a well known and respected community leader. Whatever it is, be willing to take those steps to be the real you.
Numerology can help you to be a more conscious person, so that you make better personal and business decisions. And, Numerology can provide a Relationship Compatibility profile for you and your boss. Working with tools like the Enneagram can also be beneficial here.
There are also other factors and people involved. There are some key questions that you might like to focus on:
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