SimplyNumbers

Working with new beginnings (part 2)

By now, you’ve probably been focusing on the resolutions you made for the new year. You may have even backtracked, but it’s okay. You simply need to be willing to keep working at it. You might also look at your resolutions as intentions. Setting an intention to make a positive change can feel dramatically different than making a resolution. But, it’s really about reminding yourself about the life you wish to live.

In order to more fully support yourself and your desired changes, you may wish to hold a ceremony which others can also take part in. The main purpose of this ceremony is to help you release the harmful or unhealthy situations, habits or relationships from your life. You could gather with some close friends and discuss the things you’re willing to let go of. Together, you can guide and support one another throughout the rest of the year, and into the future. Having a supportive group of people behind you can help you to feel connected and honored. This can then help you to have a better chance of following through and sticking to your desired changes and resolutions.

To add a sense of sacredness and specialness to your ceremony you can light candles and have a roaring fire. According to many traditions, fire represents purification and cleansing. With the fireplace, in addition to talking about your issues, you can write them down and safely burn them in the fire. When you have finished, you can say a few words of thanks to the fire, either silently or aloud. Then, you may choose to sit in silent contemplation and allow the fire to burn down.

Placing your issues into the fire represents a deep willingness on your part to do what’s necessary to let go. If letting go of a particular issue feels like a big step, and it might be, then releasing it can be powerfully freeing and healing. Being willing to let go means that you’ll consciously live your life in a way that supports your desired changes. For instance, you might decide to let go of unhealthy eating habits, and this might involve clearing out your cupboards and swapping food with a friend, or donating the foods that no longer support you.

Taking time out to prepare before your ceremony will allow you to more clearly see the emotional issues in your life with the most charge. Don't be afraid to work with these. Have compassion for yourself, and ask for support as you bring your issues to the fire. Know that the fire can clear away and transform your issues. You only need to have an open heart and be willing to let go.

Working with the fire practice can help you to explore your own life and make room for new opportunities and new learning. Your process can be dynamic, transformational and exhilarating. Although you may be learning a lot about yourself, it's not necessarily like taking a class, but about simply finding ways to allow your life to have specialness, deeper meaning and importance, which often comes through listening to your heart.

Utilizing the fire, you can open to your intuition and the true call of your heart. Have you been putting the needs of your heart aside? Now is the time to listen and act. You may find that at the end of the ceremony, you’ve come up with a completely new resolution.

Throughout the year you can find time to regularly light a candle to support the changes you wish to make within your life. Perhaps, You may wish to set aside a special time each day to sit in silence before the candle. You can use this quiet time to reflect and meditate. It can be a chance to deepen your connection to your heart. You can also journal the thoughts and ideas that come to you in silence.

TED Talk - Kathryn Schulz - on Regret

[Psychology Today] Losing Weight

Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D has written an excellent article for Psychology Today about changing how you relate to food, in order to achieve true and lasting weight loss. She mentions that dieting alone may not be an effective solution, and provides details about Cognitive therapy, and Mindfulness.

"Research studies suggest that dieting alone doesn't work for long-term weight loss. In one study, less than 20% of obese participants were able to lose 5% body weight and keep it off for 5 years." ~ Melanie Greenberg

She discusses important Cognitive strategies for effective weight loss. In brief these strategies include:

• Scheduling your day appropriately
• Stocking up on healthy snacks
• Asking for support from family and friends
• Being "mindful" while eating
• Believe in your goals and your process
• Remind yourself of your progress

Effectively dealing with anger

Do you ever wish that you could be more observant of your darker emotions, such as anger? Do you feel like your anger can be destructive? Do you ever regret something you’ve done when you were angry? If you’re like me, or most people at some time, then you probably are shaking your head back and forth, saying “yes” to yourself.

Perhaps you have yelled at your children, smashed something of value, or stormed out of the house. Perhaps, you have even gotten into a physical confrontation. There are times when anger can be detrimental to our leading healthy and constructive lives. Anger, does have a place and you may need to express it, but you likely don’t want to express it in a way that brings harm to others.

Ideally, before your anger gets out of control, you will want to find a way to notice it. How do you begin to feel as anger starts welling up within you. Do you squeeze your hands into tight fists? Do you pace back and forth? Do your temples start to throb? Are your reactions more internal? Do you start to berate yourself inwardly?

However you react, think of your initial reactions as a warning sign that you're about to veer off your path. Try to be self-aware of these initial reactions. Try to also notice whether you prefer to stuff your anger down, or express it outwardly. You mat also wish to notice how it comes up when you feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled with something.

Over time you’ll, as you practice being more self-aware of your anger, you’ll notice your initial reactions and then you may be able to step aside and find a few moments to calm and compose yourself. Perhaps, you may need to excuse yourself from a discussion and find a way to speak your thoughts at a later time, without the destructive power of anger.

Utilizing Numerology, and your Core Numbers, we can take a look at various aspects of your life to review where your personal strengths and weaknesses are. By looking within and taking steps to learn more about yourself you can learn more about your triggers for stress and worry, which often tend to contribute to anger. You can also look to your Personal Year to review the general theme of the year for yourself and take steps to organize your life to be better prepared for the opportunities and challenges that can occur during the year.

As you learn more about yourself and begin to apply Numerology into your life, you can begin to work with other tools and techniques that speak to your Life Path and Soul Number. Many personal growth tools can help with anger, but some may work better depending on your personality and needs. When I was younger my upset typically would could from misunderstanding others. I needed to find practical tools, like the Enneagram, to help me better understand others and the ways that they perceive the world.

Please contact me if you're interested in Numerology and finding ways to work with and reduce anger in your life.

Following through on intentions

Research recently conducted by Dr. Gail Matthews, at the Dominican University of California, shows that people who wrote down their goals, shared what they wrote & weekly updates with a friend, were about 33% more successful in accomplishing their stated goals than those who merely formulated goals.

Fire drills in the winter

This week my office building had a fire drill. It was cold. With the wind chill it must have been about 15 degrees (not Celcius) out there. Luckily, we had been warned beforehand that there would be a drill and about what time, so almost everyone was staying close to their coats, hats, scarves and portable space heaters. However, I was not one of them.

There I was with no jacket and the wind blowing and listening to the “bleeeg... bleeeg... bleeeg..” of the fire alarm. Wind blowing all around me, and waiting for the sun to peek through the clouds. I wasn’t really cold, except for my ears. I remember reading somewhere that we lose a large percentage of our body heat through the top of our heads, but this story isn’t really about that. And, I told myself that I wasn’t feeling cold anyway.

Yet, I was standing there, trying to just zone out, think warm and wait for the alarm to stop ringing and cursing whoever scheduled a fire drill in December. The wind was really starting to bother my ears, but I had a wool sweater on and I was feeling otherwise okay. Then, out of nowhere, a generous woman offered me her blanket, asking me, “Would you like my blanket?”

What would you say? Almost instinctively, I politely said no and thanked her, saying I was really okay. I’m not sure that she believed me. Seconds later (palm to forehead) I realized that someone had offered me a gift! I had turned an incredible gift away. I had manifested warmth and comfort, only to turn it away. Where else might I be turning away gifts? I’m sure that I’ve done it before, without even thinking about it. Have you? I could get very rational and say that she already looked cold with her eyes peering over the top of the blanket, and who would I be to take it away?

And then, as if one message wasn’t enough, someone whispered to me, “Why didn’t you ask if you could share?” Wow, what a question. It really reminded me about the importance of being receptive. You never know when your “blanket” is going to come. You might not even be looking for it when it does come. Yet, accepting the “blanket” could be an opening to something far greater than you might initially imagine.

Now, a pickup line probably wouldn’t have worked, but merely accepting the offer might have been a way to develop a relationship with a new person. Who knows? For me, this event was a mirror to look at where I am triggered to immediately place the needs of others before my own, without any conscious thought.

Clearing the clutter from your life

Clutter stands out for me when I think about having a positive self image. When you’re living in a cluttered environment, you can be dragged down by the feeling that “something” needs to be done. And, the longer you live with that feeling, the more tense, tired, drained and depressed you can become.

I’ve been thinking about clutter, as I usually have several stacks of books ready to be read, and they are in several different places. You might do the same thing. Others might stack clothing that is too big, or in need of mending in a pile, and it sits for months. Or, you might drop bags of stuff in the front entryway and think that you’ll get to it later. At times, we’ve all had piles of stuff that needs to be attended to, but remains neglected for weeks or months.

But, there is good news. There is hope. You can find a way to de-clutter, even if you only spend 15 minutes a day clearing your space. If you are able to be determined and patient, then over time, you’ll find that you have lifted a burden off of yourself. You may even feel that you have more energy to do the things that you really want to do.

You can join me in a daily de-cluttering ritual. All it takes is 15 minutes. It might be messy today, but by tomorrow, next week or next month your home will start to feel different, and you might even relax, as you let go of your stress and put away the boxes and bags, shelve the books, and donate your unused clothes or other no longer needed items.

Introduction to Sofia Diaz

Sofia Diaz, teacher, yoga practitioner, and lineage holder of the South Indian temple arts, lives and teaches about devotion as a way of life and as a spiritual practice. Although much of her focus is on the feminine, she does ask and helps others to wonder what is the role of devotion within their lives, regardless of gender. Her focus helps others to feel into their bodies, through practices that apply to the western world.

“Devotion is to breathe..” ~ Sofia Diaz

She has over 25 years of intensive study, teaching and daily practice. She is a founding member and part of the faculty of iEvolve, which is is a global network committed to fostering the practice of a World Spirituality. She also holds a Bachelors Degree in dance from Mills College in Oakland, California, and a Master in religious studies from the University of Colorado. She has most recently taught courses at Kripalu, Naropa University and the University of Colorado, and teaches throughout North America.

She has also written extensively about yoga, love, breath and movement and her articles have appeared in dozens of academic and popular journals.

You can listen to her talk with Marc Gafni about love, waiting and devotion in this interview.

Believing in yourself

But when the melancholy fit shall fall Sudden from heaven like a weeping cloud, That fosters the droop-headed flowers all, And hides the green hill in an April shroud -- John Keats, Ode on Melancholy, 1819

According to new social research, when you experience social rejection your heart rate slows. I wonder what this means for self-hatred or for those who feel like they are stuck. The study involved participants expectations on how others might rate them, but it might have deeper ramifications. We already know that words can have a detrimental effect on our physiology. In fact, new pain research has found that just hearing pain related words causes the parts of the brain that deal with pain, or other sensations, to activate.

What happens to your heart and brain when you put yourself down in some way? What happens to the rest of your body?

According to Prof. Weiss, who led the pain research, when we hear words like "tormenting", "grueling" or "plaguing", the parts of our brain responsible for processing pain light up.

Of course, you usually won't be using these words over and over again in conversation. But, you might be constantly thinking that a certain task is grueling, difficult or painful. As you think more about the work you have to do, it becomes harder and harder because it begins to feel painful. It becomes self limiting.

You can change course without sticking your head in the sand. A good first step can be to be kind to yourself. That doesn't mean it's okay to take on a Pollyanna attitude and eat all the ice cream you want, but rather that you won't constantly berate yourself for making mistakes. That would be a great first step. It also means that you'll have compassion for yourself and others. And, it means that you'll look for ways to forgive and let go of the past.

Your social circle may help you with making important health changes

"For about 35 years, wisdom in the social sciences has been that the more long ties there are in a network, the faster a thing will spread," Damon Centola, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Through his study,  Centola found that when you are trying to work on a big personal problem, or habit, you may need to reach out and ask for as much help as you can find from your friends, family and support networks. Indeed, he says, "The more difficult the behavior and the more resistant to change, the more vital these densely clustered ties would be."

Centola, assistant professor of system dynamics, ran a series of experiments using an online health community of 1,528 people. In the study, people were matched and given “health buddies” by their health interests. He placed people into two separate groups. One group, Group A, was composed of people with close connections (long ties), but no real sub-groups, and the other, Group B, featured clumps (or clusters) of sub-groups. He tested the groups to see which group would better respond to signing up for a health forum. He found that 54% of the Group B people signed up, while 38% of the Group A people signed up. The Group B people were also four times as fast at choosing to participate in something others were doing.

“Social reinforcement from multiple health buddies made participants much more willing to adopt the behavior,” noted Centola. And, he thinks this has vital relevance for health officials. He feels that promotion of health screenings and disease prevention might best be targeted at tight knit communities that more closely match the profile of Group B. Then the information will rapidly spread through the community and more readily be acted on.