SimplyNumbers

Is your marriage toxic?

In a article by Joanna Broder at Web MD this question was asked. Have you stopped to think if your relationship is indeed harmful and limiting your growth?

In the article, Sharon Rivkin, a marriage and family therapist says "If you’re in a bad marriage, don’t underestimate the stress that you are carrying around.”

Some of the key reasons for stress in your marriage, mentioned by the author, are below:

• Keeping everything bottled up inside
• Some of the key problem areas in the post are:
• Poor Listening
• Blaming one another
• Taking each other for granted
• Giving up

The author tries to get across the point that you both can work on the relationship if you find the proper time and space to do so. That means that you wait until your both calmer and settled before trying to give constructive feedback to one another. It also means that you try not to let the problems become so big that you can no longer work on them. Be willing to ask for help from one another and outside the relationship.

Exploring Relationships

We take a risk when we open our hearts because the truth is, if we open our hearts, we will get hurt. You can't open your heart and not have some hurt because you're in a human experience. Even if it's the love of your life and you have many wonderful, deepening, growing, powerful years together, it's a human experience and that person will pass over. Love takes courage. Be courageous. ~ Mary Manin Morrissey

Your relationships can play a central role in many of your decisions this year, and especially for those coming up in 2013 as one of the global Numerological themes for 2013 is about relationships and bonding. Asking for help from your friends, family and significant other is essential. It's especially vital to have discussions with your partner about support you can provide one another, as the discussion alone can help you to feel supported and connected.

It may help to have discussions about realistic expectations and responsibilities with your partners and loved ones. These talks may facilitate greater understanding about how you may provide feedback, caring and support for one another. This also helps everyone to know what the relationship expectations are, and to understand how their needs can be met.

Any talk should be started with basic ground rules, including honesty, compassion and perhaps include some form of confidentiality requirements. It's good to feel like your part is honoring you, and have ground rules for a discussion that takes place in a safe environment can help to deepen the relationship. It may be important for you to understand that your partner won't share your discussion with friends and other family members.

Ideas/Tools to work with:

• Enneagram - Working with this personality system can give you insights into the way others behave, operate and think.
• Couples counseling
• Relationship videos/books - These materials can help you to learn how to see through the eyes of your partner.

Good questions to ask:

• How can we better manage stress?
• How can we ask our families to support our relationship?
• How can we help each other to feel relaxed?
• Are we listening to one another?
• How can we support one another in our goals?
• Am I supporting healthy relationship boundaries?

Together, working with your Numerology chart, we can:

• Look at personal patterns that may cause relationship conflicts.
• Discuss how having differing Life Path numbers may help/hinder your relationship and find ways to open up a discussion about this with your partner.
• Discuss how your unmet needs may cause stress in your relationships.
• If you are thinking about marriage, we can discuss how a name change can shape your life in new ways.

Quote ~ Moshe Feldenkrais

There are multiple descriptions of the same real world situation. The only justification for language is to empower yourself. If the verbal description you create of the situation you find yourself in leads to paralysis and ineffectual behavior, then throw those damn words away and find yourself a new set. There is always some useful description of the world that empowers and gives you choices and your task, if you are going to use words at all, is to find that set of words.

Remaining silent

"In Judaism and early Christianity there is a sin known as loshon hora, which refers to engaging in gossip. According to loshon hora, speaking negatively about someone is equivalent to cursing them, and listening in on gossip is as bad as spreading it yourself, because you are actively participating in it. It’s best to remain silent and not speak poorly about anyone, regardless of how great the temptation is." ~ Hank Wesselman, Awakening to the Spirit World

The differences between men and woman

[Learn out Loud - Free audio]:  - Professor Deborah Tannen describes differences in communication between men & women.

How to deal with nuisance neighbors - http://bit.ly/brWy6s

Gay Hendricks on Commitment

The above YouTube Video is a chat between Lilou Mace and Gay Hendricks about the importance of being truly committed in a relationship.

Looking at our challenges

Are you aware of any issues that hold you back? If you are, then take a moment to ask yourself about the true identity of the problem. Are your issues financial, emotional, personal or something else? You can utilize your own personal strengths in different ways depending upon your issues.

What are you yearning for? What if you had the power to do one thing that would change your life this year? What would that be? What gets in your way from doing it?

Do you have fears about money? On a financial level, moving ahead can be about finding a new job, starting a new business, or perhaps saving for an important investment.

Do you feel alone? On an emotional level, moving ahead can be about building and strengthening relationships. Being conscious, being open, helping others, striving to better yourself are all especially important in relationships. Sometimes one partner can grow, and mature past the other. One problem that can creep into a relationship is  faulty communication. Perhaps you let fears and worries prevent you from fully expressing yourself.