SimplyNumbers

TED Talk - Kathryn Schulz - on Regret

Healing Family Issues With Ancestral Healing

Within our bodies, hearts and souls we may carry some of the unfinished issues from our ancestors. Your ancestors can be anyone in your family tree. You may be struggling unconsciously with unresolved issues from your parents lives, their parents, or others who came before them. You may also be struggling with larger issues related to the entire family. The regrets, tragedies, pain, and grief that they were unable to deal with may have been unintentionally passed down to you. Ancestral healing work involves finding ways to let go, and look for ways to heal, from these issues.

Psychologically speaking, you may be dealing with issues related to the Shadow, which can relate to familial issues that are forgotten, never addressed or kept hidden. Unfortunately, within many families particular patterns of abuse, such as anger, alcoholism, or deceit, may be passed down from generation to generation. However, the damage that these patterns create can be healed.

Of course, much of what has passed down to you can be valuable and desirable. Your parents, and other elders, may have instilled great qualities within you. It’s important to recognize this, and to have compassion for yourself and your family. Ancestral healing work is not about blaming, pointing fingers or stepping away from responsibility. It is about finding ways to release the hold limiting life patterns, passed down to you, may have on your life.

Simply consider some of the phrases that may have been repeated in your childhood, such as “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, “It’s dangerous out there”, “You’re eating us out of house and home”, “You’ve got to face reality” or “You’re not good enough.” You also may have your own particular phrases that left a sting, and that you still remember.

Numerologically, you can begin to address your familial issues by looking at your Core Numbers, but also the Family Name number. Your Family Name number can help to illustrate the personal patterns, general emotions, attitudes, moods, and personal characteristics that you share with your family. Being aware and conscious of your emotions and how you connect with and relate to your family can help you to mature and grow as an individual. Knowing how you act and feel is important, as is finding a way to develop compassion, acceptance, and tolerance for your parents, yourself and other members of your family.

In general, your Family Name number can be used to show how you deal with and relate to challenging situations around money, work and relationships. It also describes the drives and tasks that you, as a member of a particular family, will feel compelled to achieve in this lifetime. This is especially true if you have been given the first name of a parent or grandparent. It often falls to children to accomplish those dreams that a parent didn't or couldn't resolve. This number can help you to be more aware of the ways in which external family influences can shape our lives and drive us to succeed in our life challenges.

You may need to seek out a skilled therapist, and/or support group, to begin to address these issues within your life. They can give you the necessary support and guidance to believe in yourself, and the recognition that you can indeed heal and make new choices within your life. They will help you to build a support network for yourself, and you can then look to other tools, therapies and techniques, such as those mentioned here, to help you along your path.

You might also look to other modalities, such as Shamanism, to help process and release your unfinished familiar issues. From a shamanic perspective, the patterns, behaviors and traits that are common within the family can be seen as imprints. A shamanic practitioner could work with you to release these imprints and help you reconnect with parts of yourself that seem missing or lost.

To catch a better glimpse of your particular family patterns, you might look to see:

• Health issues occurring at a certain age in members of your family.
• Patterns of drug abuse, alcoholism or addiction within the family.
• Emotional patterns, such as codependency, within the family.
• Limiting beliefs within the family.
• Patterns of enablement within the family.
• Destructive issues that are never addressed or talked about within the family.

Those of us with these, or other debilitating patterns, may need to find a way to address healing them in order to more deeply enable personal healing. Our families help to shape us, and unless you are willing to challenge those patterns and beliefs that are self limiting, you'll hold them inside. It's up to you and me, to discover a way to release them, heal and begin to more deeply believe in ourselves.

In order to begin now to address your ancestral healing needs you might be to begin to look at whatever feels out of balance in your life. You can then bring the material that arises to your therapist, doctor or support group.

I can work with you by discussing other tools and techniques which may help you in your journey. Together, we can discuss your Family Name number and address how it might impact your life. We can also work with your Numerology chart to take better advantage of the challenges and opportunities that you desire to pursue, but perhaps felt unable to, until now.

Blame VS Accountability

All too often when we have setbacks in our lives we become defensive, blaming and self-critical. We may spend long periods of time reevaluating out decisions, and wishing that we had done something differently. We get caught up in the fantasy of “If only.”

However, blaming yourself tends to be a process that only leads to more blame, frustration and anger. Blame tends to indicate that you’re very self-critical, and believe that you have failed. Blaming yourself allows you to dwell in the past and stew in anger and resentment over what might or could have been, rather than looking for a way to get back up, or find a way to learn from your experience.

Being accountable for yourself, your experiences and the outcomes means that you want to learn more about yourself and what life has to offer. It means that your life situations have significance, importance and meaning. Accountability means that you’re willing to look within, and make changes to allow yourself to navigate through the challenges that you may face.

Being accountable instead of blaming yourself, also means that you recognize that although being organized, planning and having structure are all important, you simply can’t know everything and realize that sometimes events in life simply don’t unfold as you had thought they would.

Numerology can begin to help you to be more accountable for yourself by highlighting your strengths and weaknesses through your Core Numbers. You can then use your insights from your Core Numbers as personal guidance to help you to better weigh and evaluate decisions, and their ramifications, as they relate to your personality and your potential.

Numerology can also help you to better evaluate your plans by helping you to understand and work with your personal cycles. Each year has a different theme or dynamic attached to it. Your Personal Year Number can help to provide you with guidance around the potential opportunities and challenges that can occur during the year. If you're prepared ahead of time, you can then be ready to take advantage of the opportunities as they unfold, rather than second guessing or worrying if you are making the right choices.

Finally, having a deep sense of compassion for yourself can help you to step into, and maintain, accountability. This means that you're fully embracing the "you", that you are becoming and that you fully recognize your humanness. You're not perfect. You'll make mistakes. But, you're willing to face life with an open heart.

[Psychology Today] Helping Causes Liking; Harming Causes Hating

Psychology Today has published an article by Nathan Heflick about how your actions for/against someone can help or hinder you in actually developing a closer relationship with them. The post talks about research which suggests that by helping others, you foster greater liking for them. And, that when you harm others you develop greater dislike for them.

We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground. ~ Pema Chodron