SimplyNumbers

Moving out of anger

At some point in our lives we've all reached a point when our efforts seemed fruitless. You may have wanted to scream out in agony and give up, move on and forget about whatever you were trying to achieve. Or, you may have been so angry and outraged that you wanted to smash whatever object was in front of you at the moment.

When you are caught up in anger, you're paying so much attention to the anger that it's easy to be completely disconnected from the world around you. Your focus narrows, and you may only be able to see the problem (or a small part of it). Possible solutions evade you, as anger draws you into a circumstance that feels isolated, closed, uncontrollable and stagnating. You feel alone. Nobody else has this problem.

Your anger separates you from yourself and the rest of the world. However, by learning to allow yourself to see your emotional reactions clearly, you can be better able to see how restricting and damaging anger can be. Ideally, you will want to find a way to notice your anger and the reactions surrounding it.

Think or your anger as a warning sign that you're about to veer off your path. See how it typically tends to come up. Notice how you feel when it does come up. Also, notice how often you feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied when it shows up. Finally, notice whether your first tendency is to express or withhold it.

You're angry for a reason. Anger is not always a "bad" emotion to experience. In many situations anger is beneficial. If we are being taken advantage of anger can motivate us to take action to correct the situation. If you are veering away from your desired life, then anger can serve as a warning to reverse course and find a way to lead a life that matters and resonates with your heart.

Some questions that might be helpful:

• What do I typically do when I am angry?
• Do I typically hide or stuff my anger inside?
• Do I let others know when I am angry?
• Do I shrink away from the anger of others?
• Am I aware of how my anger is triggered?
• Am I willing to work with compassion to heal my anger?
• Am I willing to ask others for help?
• Am I willing to journal about my anger?

The Universal theme in Numerology for 2012 is one of compassion, understanding and adaptability. Look to how you can develop greater compassion for yourself and others. You may find great relief in the writings of Pema Chodron. She believes that compassion, patience and curiosity are important in understanding your anger. As these traits are a core part of this years Numerological theme, they can be a powerful place to approach an exploration of anger from.

Overall, you will want to be finding a way to peacefully, healthfully and constructively harness any upset or anger about your current circumstance to help you make healing and vital changes in your life, especially those changes that you may have been thinking about for a long time.

With the help of Numerology, I can begin to work with you to look at your Core Numbers and Numerology chart to see where you can best focus your energies. These tools can often provide guidance that leads back to yearnings, strengths and talents that you've ignored or forgotten about. Contact me if you're ready for a reading.

[MSNBC] Stub your toe? Swearing may actually help!

Shouting swear words can have a powerful pain-killing effect, especially among women, according to a new study published in NeuroReport.

Quote ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

All of us can practice nonviolence. We begin by recognizing that, in the depths of our consciousness, we have both the seeds of compassion and the seeds of violence. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Creating True Peace

Words Hurt

Effectively dealing with anger

Do you ever wish that you could be more observant of your darker emotions, such as anger? Do you feel like your anger can be destructive? Do you ever regret something you’ve done when you were angry? If you’re like me, or most people at some time, then you probably are shaking your head back and forth, saying “yes” to yourself.

Perhaps you have yelled at your children, smashed something of value, or stormed out of the house. Perhaps, you have even gotten into a physical confrontation. There are times when anger can be detrimental to our leading healthy and constructive lives. Anger, does have a place and you may need to express it, but you likely don’t want to express it in a way that brings harm to others.

Ideally, before your anger gets out of control, you will want to find a way to notice it. How do you begin to feel as anger starts welling up within you. Do you squeeze your hands into tight fists? Do you pace back and forth? Do your temples start to throb? Are your reactions more internal? Do you start to berate yourself inwardly?

However you react, think of your initial reactions as a warning sign that you're about to veer off your path. Try to be self-aware of these initial reactions. Try to also notice whether you prefer to stuff your anger down, or express it outwardly. You mat also wish to notice how it comes up when you feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled with something.

Over time you’ll, as you practice being more self-aware of your anger, you’ll notice your initial reactions and then you may be able to step aside and find a few moments to calm and compose yourself. Perhaps, you may need to excuse yourself from a discussion and find a way to speak your thoughts at a later time, without the destructive power of anger.

Utilizing Numerology, and your Core Numbers, we can take a look at various aspects of your life to review where your personal strengths and weaknesses are. By looking within and taking steps to learn more about yourself you can learn more about your triggers for stress and worry, which often tend to contribute to anger. You can also look to your Personal Year to review the general theme of the year for yourself and take steps to organize your life to be better prepared for the opportunities and challenges that can occur during the year.

As you learn more about yourself and begin to apply Numerology into your life, you can begin to work with other tools and techniques that speak to your Life Path and Soul Number. Many personal growth tools can help with anger, but some may work better depending on your personality and needs. When I was younger my upset typically would could from misunderstanding others. I needed to find practical tools, like the Enneagram, to help me better understand others and the ways that they perceive the world.

Please contact me if you're interested in Numerology and finding ways to work with and reduce anger in your life.

Changing your beliefs

You may been in situation where nagging doubt made making a decision seem difficult, impossible, or useless. Many of us have these limiting beliefs. Trouble arises when we give into them, and give up and let the beliefs proliferate. There is a way to work with them. By evaluating the limiting belief and asking a few simple questions, you may be able to change it, or lessen its power over you.

Questions to ask about your beliefs:

• How long have you had this belief?
• Who/Where did the belief come from?
• Do you think others have similar beliefs?
• How might have this belief been beneficial to you?
• How has this belief limited my pursuit of your aspirations.
• How has this belief encouraged my pursuit of your aspirations?
• Do you agree with the belief?
• Does the belief accurately represent you?
• Are you willing to let it go?

Be careful to take all the time that you need to answer the questions. Don't feel pressure to answer all of the questions in one sitting. Have compassion for yourself, and allow yourself to experience any difficult feelings that occur when you're thinking about your answers. This process isn't about assigning fault or blame, rather it's about shining a light on your beliefs, so that you can lessen their strength in your life.

When you're ready, you can consider the emotions or feelings that arise when you actually have the experience of the limiting belief. What happens when it shows up? Describe your state in as detailed a manner as you can. For many of us, the feelings that we experience around our limiting beliefs can be powerful and visceral. I remember getting tense, feeling angry and agitated, and wanting to smash something when I experienced a particular belief around not knowing enough. This was very strong when I was in college. It always seemed like I had to cram more information in. Over time, I’ve learned to accept that I can’t and don’t need to know everything. And, in some way the belief has kept me curious and wanting to know more.

Finally, imagine yourself free of this belief. Breathe out and let it go. You can imagine a ballon, with the belief inside, floating away. What would your life really be like without it? Who would be in your life? Where would you be living? How do you feel? Again, be as detailed as you can. You may want to write down your vision, and visualize it as well. Spend a few minutes, or longer, visualizing your life when you no longer have this limiting belief. Don’t just describe how you will feel, feel it in your body now. Feel the changes that have occurred!

You can work with each limiting belief you have in this way. As you evaluate your beliefs, their hold on your life will reduce and you’ll be able to live your life on your terms. For longer held beliefs it may take more time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. You may also wish to seek outside assistance, such as a peer group, therapist or counselor.

Anger and creating the life you want

We've all reached a point when our efforts seem fruitless. You may want to scream out in agony and give up, move on and forget about whatever you were trying to achieve. Or, you may feel so angry and outraged that you want to smash whatever object is in front of you at the moment.

When you are caught up in anger, you're paying so much attention to the anger that it's easy to be completely disconnected from the world around you. Your focus narrows, and you may only be able to see the problem (or a small part of it). Possible solutions evade you, as anger draws you into a circumstance that feels isolated, closed, uncontrollable and stagnating. You feel alone. Nobody else has this problem. Your anger separates you from yourself and the rest of the world. However, by learning to allow yourself to see your emotional reactions clearly, you can be better able to see how restricting and damaging anger can be.

Ideally, you will want to find a way to notice your anger and the reactions surrounding it. Think or your anger as a warning sign that you're about to veer off your path. See how it typically tends to come up. Notice how you feel when it does come up. Also, notice how often you feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied when it shows up. Finally, notice whether your first tendency is to express or withhold it.

You're angry for a reason. Anger is not always a "bad" emotion to experience. In some cases anger is beneficial. If we are being taken advantage of then anger can motivate us to take action to correct the situation. If you are veering away from your desired life, then anger can serve as a warning to reverse course and find a way to lead a life that matters and resonates with your heart.

Some questions that might be helpful:

• What do I typically do when I am angry?
• Do I typically hide or stuff my anger inside?
• Do I let others know when I am angry?
• Do I shrink away from the anger of others?
• Am I aware of how my anger is triggered?

The Universal theme for 2011 is one of responsibility and practicality. Overall, you will wanting to be finding a way to constructively harness any upset or anger about your current circumstance to help you make healthy and vital changes in your life, especially those changes that you may have been thinking about for a long time.

I can work with you to look at your Core Numbers and Numerology chart to see where you can be best focusing your energies to live up to your potential. These tools can often provide guidance that leads back to strengths and talents that you've ignored or forgotten about. Contact me if you're ready for a reading.

Combining Buddhist teachings and modern neuroscience

"One way to practice mindfulness meditation and pay attention to present-moment experiences is to label your emotions by saying, for example, ‘I’m feeling angry right now’ or ‘I’m feeling a lot of stress right now’ or ‘this is joy’ or whatever the emotion is." ~ David Creswell, UCLA research scientist/Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior

In their anger research, scientists David Creswell and Matthew D. Lieberman have found that we can reduce the reactions that occur within the brain in the amygdala (which creates a fear response) simply by putting our feelings into words. When you put your feelings into words, it seems to slow down or "put the brakes on" for the intense emotional responses that you might normally feel, without labeling and identifying your feelings.

“This is such an exciting study because it brings together the Buddha’s teachings — more than 2,500 years ago, he talked about the benefits of labeling your experience — with modern neuroscience. Now, for the first time since those teachings, we have shown there is actually a neurological reason for doing mindfulness meditation. Our findings are consistent with what mindfulness meditation teachers have taught for thousands of years.” ~ David Creswell

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~ Will Rogers

Remembering - part 3

We’ve begun to discuss issues around healing from painful, difficult or even traumatic events such as the devastation that took place on September 11th. In fact, studies show that the attacks continue to affect the way we think, remember and react to stress. Now, many of us may have processed our grief over time. Yet, the studies illustrate that some of us may still be processing the stress, grief and pain around the traumatic events that unfolded. For some, their grief may be debilitating. For others, their grief may prevent them from more fully enjoying their lives. And, many of us may be holding onto grief and upset from other events. Journaling may be one way to help you to begin to deal with your grief, uncover your feelings, and begin to let go of your dark emotions that may be holding you back from making desired and meaningful advancements in your life.

Meditation may be another way to begin to deal with and handle the emotions and grief that you may be dealing with. This is especially important to be able to face the reality of the world we live within. Rather than turning away from the nightly news, beginning to accept that there are dangers in the world. But, also knowing that you to don’t have to live in an isolated way to be free of the danger. Meditation can help you to begin to find calm places within.

Stephen Levine offers an excellent guided meditation in his book “Guided Meditations, Explorations and Healings”. You may wish to record the meditations and play them back, or have someone read them to you. The meditations can help you to process your grief and begin to make space in your life for something new. Stephen Levine also offers many other fine books on the grief process.

Meditation can help you to find an inner calm, but part of the goal should be to bring this new found calm out into your life. You may find that simply by having a practice that involves periods of silence, will help you to develop further calm and may help to tame many of your inner voices. For some people the silence is a deeply moving religious experience. For others being silent is a way to deepen their sense of spirituality. You might find that silence can help to expand your meditation practice, or simply to solve problems. But, you don’t need to have a reason for silence and you can come to silence with an open mind.

Time spent in silence can very powerful. There are no fixed rules, but when you are silent you should be “unplugged”. This means no television, computer, radio, music, books or using the phone. The fewer inputs you have to your brain the better. This is a time of emptying, slowing down, and patience. You may have to make agreements with your family in order to do this successfully. But, they might be able to share in the process.

Find a rhythm and pace with your meditation practice that works for you. As you gain experience, you may wish to try other forms of meditation, but try to spend enough time with one of the above processes so that you can actually feel that it is working. That may mean that you somehow feel like you have a “spring” in your step. It may mean that you are smiling and more engaged. When you notice a difference, you know that you’ve helped yourself to make some powerful changes!