SimplyNumbers

Eckhart Tolle on being present in relationship

HuffPost: What Do You Do?

From the article, by Barbara & Shannon Kelly

"A perfectly reasonable question, right? It's social shorthand for "who are you?" a convenient fall-back in the face of awkward silence or prolonged mingling; polite, simple, safe chit-chat. Um, right?"

A really neat article, which the authorize summarize nicely by effectively saying that when you've settled into yourself, and honored your heart's calling then the "What Do You Do?" question won't really matter anymore. Perhaps instead it will be an opportunity to shine and let someone new see the real you.

Healing Family Issues With Ancestral Healing

Within our bodies, hearts and souls we may carry some of the unfinished issues from our ancestors. Your ancestors can be anyone in your family tree. You may be struggling unconsciously with unresolved issues from your parents lives, their parents, or others who came before them. You may also be struggling with larger issues related to the entire family. The regrets, tragedies, pain, and grief that they were unable to deal with may have been unintentionally passed down to you. Ancestral healing work involves finding ways to let go, and look for ways to heal, from these issues.

Psychologically speaking, you may be dealing with issues related to the Shadow, which can relate to familial issues that are forgotten, never addressed or kept hidden. Unfortunately, within many families particular patterns of abuse, such as anger, alcoholism, or deceit, may be passed down from generation to generation. However, the damage that these patterns create can be healed.

Of course, much of what has passed down to you can be valuable and desirable. Your parents, and other elders, may have instilled great qualities within you. It’s important to recognize this, and to have compassion for yourself and your family. Ancestral healing work is not about blaming, pointing fingers or stepping away from responsibility. It is about finding ways to release the hold limiting life patterns, passed down to you, may have on your life.

Simply consider some of the phrases that may have been repeated in your childhood, such as “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, “It’s dangerous out there”, “You’re eating us out of house and home”, “You’ve got to face reality” or “You’re not good enough.” You also may have your own particular phrases that left a sting, and that you still remember.

Numerologically, you can begin to address your familial issues by looking at your Core Numbers, but also the Family Name number. Your Family Name number can help to illustrate the personal patterns, general emotions, attitudes, moods, and personal characteristics that you share with your family. Being aware and conscious of your emotions and how you connect with and relate to your family can help you to mature and grow as an individual. Knowing how you act and feel is important, as is finding a way to develop compassion, acceptance, and tolerance for your parents, yourself and other members of your family.

In general, your Family Name number can be used to show how you deal with and relate to challenging situations around money, work and relationships. It also describes the drives and tasks that you, as a member of a particular family, will feel compelled to achieve in this lifetime. This is especially true if you have been given the first name of a parent or grandparent. It often falls to children to accomplish those dreams that a parent didn't or couldn't resolve. This number can help you to be more aware of the ways in which external family influences can shape our lives and drive us to succeed in our life challenges.

You may need to seek out a skilled therapist, and/or support group, to begin to address these issues within your life. They can give you the necessary support and guidance to believe in yourself, and the recognition that you can indeed heal and make new choices within your life. They will help you to build a support network for yourself, and you can then look to other tools, therapies and techniques, such as those mentioned here, to help you along your path.

You might also look to other modalities, such as Shamanism, to help process and release your unfinished familiar issues. From a shamanic perspective, the patterns, behaviors and traits that are common within the family can be seen as imprints. A shamanic practitioner could work with you to release these imprints and help you reconnect with parts of yourself that seem missing or lost.

To catch a better glimpse of your particular family patterns, you might look to see:

• Health issues occurring at a certain age in members of your family.
• Patterns of drug abuse, alcoholism or addiction within the family.
• Emotional patterns, such as codependency, within the family.
• Limiting beliefs within the family.
• Patterns of enablement within the family.
• Destructive issues that are never addressed or talked about within the family.

Those of us with these, or other debilitating patterns, may need to find a way to address healing them in order to more deeply enable personal healing. Our families help to shape us, and unless you are willing to challenge those patterns and beliefs that are self limiting, you'll hold them inside. It's up to you and me, to discover a way to release them, heal and begin to more deeply believe in ourselves.

In order to begin now to address your ancestral healing needs you might be to begin to look at whatever feels out of balance in your life. You can then bring the material that arises to your therapist, doctor or support group.

I can work with you by discussing other tools and techniques which may help you in your journey. Together, we can discuss your Family Name number and address how it might impact your life. We can also work with your Numerology chart to take better advantage of the challenges and opportunities that you desire to pursue, but perhaps felt unable to, until now.

Being Present in Relationships

Numerology and Midlife Transitions

Numerology can be used to support midlife transitions. We’ll discuss how Numerology can help by allowing you to make healthier choices about your life. Men would also benefit from studying the works of Stephen Arterburn, William Blake, Robert Bly, John Eldredge, and Barry Lopez. However, let’s first discuss what exactly “midlife” is. Webster's Dictionary defines middle age or midlife as:

“The time of human life between youth and old age, usually reckoned as the years between 40 and 60.”

Therefore midlife is a period of time in which you are no longer young, but not necessarily old. It is a midpoint. But, what are you in the middle of? Are you in the middle of a life that you enjoy? Most of us want to live long, meaningful, and worthwhile lives. Do you yearn for something extra in your life? Are you now more focused on times past, or the present? You may have many questions about life, and what it should or could be. Is your life significant? Somehow you must find the answer these questions. As you age the answers become more important. Men and women today may have a stressful and more difficult time transitioning in midlife, especially when they avoid answering these and other important questions. Of course since recent studies, like those from the National Institutes of Health, show that men and women handle stress differently, we all will have unique and personal answers.

By midlife, hopefully you have been responsible for your own personal growth, which can be part of a life long evolutionary process. In other words, you are a mature and responsible adult. You can be optimistic, yet have contingencies for possible obstacles. You know that outside guidance can be beneficial. Guidance can come from hearing the stories of others and by actually listening to your own inner voice (as represented by your Soul Number). As you approach middle age, you may want to devote special time for personal reflection and evaluation. Numerology can help with this through the your Maturity number.

Those of us with father, or abandonment, issues may need to find ways to emotionally support ourselves before we can effectively self-reflect. Counseling may be needed. Those of us willing to do deeper work may wish to study breath work, the enneagram, voice dialogue, mythology and archetypes. Men, especially at midlife, would do well to study the warrior archetype. German anthropologist Adolph Bastian, first proposed the idea that world myths seem to be built from the same "elementary ideas.". These ideas eventually became known in psychology as archetypes.

By midlife, it’s important to have a developed sense of your true self, and a strong level of maturity. Where does your sense of self come from? Becoming mature is a process of learning, growth and evolving. You learn, make mistakes, and develop. Numerological insight into your maturity and aging can be had from your Maturity number. Its influence begins to have a deep and profound impact on your life after the age of 35. It indicates particular abilities, yearnings or dreams that gradually surface between 30 and 40, with its full force becoming stronger throughout your 40’s. It definitely has an inner, mysterious and spiritual pull. Personal crisis may emerge when we avoid the pull of our inner growth and instead overly devote our lives to business, sports or the material.

In many ways, the Maturity Number illustrates rewarding life paths and the possible ways that you may develop your true potential. However, the paths that it shows may not be direct routes to your ultimate goals. Following it is about following your heart. Following it is not about doing what pleases others. Understanding the nuances of this number may take time. In the long run, you may learn more about yourself and your Maturity number by sharing your time, energy, and wisdom through honest work and community involvement. It may involve becoming humble. For career minded individuals this process can mean that you find more time for spiritual and social development.

The characteristics of your Maturity number can usually be seen when you are young, but we all tend to lose sight of these traits, as we get older. In young children, the Maturity number can be seen by simply noticing the way they behave and by observing their personal interests. However, its influences usually disappear gradually because their personality is forming (see Soul Number & Outer Number) and the influence of the Core Numbers (Life Path, Soul Number, Outer Number, Destiny Number) grows. Remember the words of Pablo Picasso: “All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” I remember drawing and working with clay as a child. I am sure many of you remember doing this, or similar things, as well. I still enjoy drawing today. Being creative and artistic simply makes me happy and has always helped me to relieve stress and tension. What makes you happy?

Now, another tool that can help shed light on this period of your life is Astrology. Within Astrology you can look to your "Saturn Return" to find more information about key transformational points in your life (29-30 and 59-60). Since Saturn's period is roughly about 29-1/2 years, it generally refers to a period of time between ages 29- 30. Each time Saturn returns to its birth location (natal position) in your chart, you are supposedly “reborn”. At the Saturn return, you are challenged to listen to your soul, express your unique individuality and to be responsible for needed personal growth.

You may also look to others who seem to have had periods of life altering transformation, especially around ages 30 or 40, as the Saturn Return does appear to have profound and long lasting influence. These can be important time periods in anyone’s life, and you may also want to re-evaluate your 30th (or 60th) year. One person that I’d like to talk about is Gwenyth Paltrow. At 30, she says that her life changed forever. After celebrating her 30th birthday with her dad, he died a few days later. She says “...It's not as if you can shut off the pain of life and what it brings you. But I think if you face it head-on, with an open heart and open mind, you can surmount anything. I really believe that."

I am sure you have and can find people with transformation stories. The stamina and the power that renewal brings can help you to face your fears and obstacles later in life. It is about recognizing your strengths and abilities. The people mentioned above, are definitely examples of people willing to give it their all to work toward their dreams. These are people who do not give up. Now consider, Carl Jung who dedicated much of his life to therapy for people who given up on their inner desires. They may have done this to please someone else. For people like this, midlife transition can be a difficult process.

Now, as you progress into midlife, you should gradually be better able to fully express and live through the power of your Maturity Number. Learning to pace yourself and balance your needs is also important. Some Maturity numbers require that you learn about self-discipline while others will require that you learn about fun, pleasure, happiness, and creativity.

Maturity Number 3 is just such a number. People with a Maturity Number 3, will need to learn about simple living and find ways to unburden themselves from overly complex situations. It may mean that you no longer chase after the latest gadgets or have the best home or car. It may mean looking for work that is less demanding. Of course, these people will have to learn when to stand up for something that matters and when to walk away. It will be important for them to leave control of some of the bigger, or thornier, issues in life to others. At a basic level, those people with a 3 for a Maturity number will need to find balance between work and play. Creative outlets are what really matter for these people.

Of course, people with different Maturity numbers will have other issues to resolve. Consider someone who has a Maturity Number 7. These people generally appear deep and contemplating. As they age, they will become increasingly concerned with the larger questions in life. Generally, these people are looking for answers from within themselves. They want to be part of the “solution”. At midlife they may be drawn to religious studies. It will be important for them, especially those with families, to make room for their loved ones, even if they have a thirst to seek for deeper understanding of what life is all about.

For these people, it may be important to remember the words of Barry Lopez: “There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.” As they mature, it will therefore be important for those with a Maturity Number 7 to simply do what they believe is right. They will also need to balance time alone with family and social life. Others may at times, feel pushed aside by people with this number. Balance in their lives will help them to transition into adulthood and beyond. For men especially, this may mean that you develop ways to be more relaxed, giving and accepting.

With dedication and maturity, we all have the ability to listen to our inner needs and work toward achieving them. Think of your inner needs as the music of your soul. Don’t you want to hear it? It may take time, hard work, and dedication to arrive at your desired destination. Preparing yourself for possible obstacles, and working with spiritual tools can help you to make a more healthful midlife transition. Putting life on hold, pleasing others, or living through your children will only provide fuel for a crisis. You have to live your own life. Listening to your inner voice can be fulfilling and rewarding. You may want to look for people who have lives that seem to include the qualities of the Maturity number, as they may be able to help you learn more about your own life and transitional needs. Above all, enjoy life and remember this Yogi Bera-ism: “When you come to the fork in the road, take it.”

Quote ~ Pema Chodron

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes. ~ Pema Chodron

Joseph Campbell - On being an adult

In the video, Joseph Campbell discusses the rites the some cultures have to facilitate the transformation from childhood to adulthood. He talks about the importance, and reverence, placed on the tools used and the initiation act itself. To the children, the rites are powerful and dramatic, because the power and mysticism of the rite has been instilled within them for their entire lives.

Campbell talks about how someone like a PhD candidate, who has spent many years in schooling, might miss this transition especially because those in the Western world don't have the same instilled reverence as other cultures. These people may struggle to be recognized as an authority, and that is their stepping stone into power and adulthood.