Previously, we've talked about working with Ancestral Healing to bring balance into your life. Now, I'd like to talk about more intimately connecting with your ancestors through “feeding” them during special festivals or ceremonies in their honor, such as Samhain, which falls on October 31 - November 1st.
Samhain was a widely practiced tradition in various Celtic cultures. Today these traditions have changed their form, but are still honored in celebrations like the Feile na Marbh (“festival of the dead”) in Ireland. The Catholic church also has All Souls’ Day or All Saints Day. These modern traditions, like Samhain, offer the opportunity to honor the deceased members of your family and community.
Samhain means “summer’s end” and is used to recognize the transition from one cycle of the the year, to the next. It’s about transitioning, recognizing a new cycle and about letting go of the past. It was celebrated to honor the coming winter, and the new beginnings that can come out of it. This was the main celebration of the year. Every household would dampen their fires, and wait for the druids to light a new fire to signify the start of the new year. After this fire was lit, prayers and ritual objects could be cast into the fire.
Today, many of the rituals of Samhain, such as the “feeding our ancestors”, are still practiced, but in more modern or Westernized forms. The practice of “feeding your ancestors” is a part of the ritual of “silent” or “dumb” suppers, in which a meal is eaten silently, but a space is set aside for those in the family who have passed on. Usually, favorite foods and dishes of your ancestors are prepared for the meal, which will be eaten silently. It’s thought that you eat in silence, to honor and make room for those who have passed on. In silence, we’re better able to connect with the spirits and ancestors. As we let go of our words, and make a space almost outside of time, this allows us to better connect with our hearts, and be better able to hear and connect with our ancestors.
As you eat in silence, a memory or feeling from a past event may come to mind. Allow these events to come and go as they will. You may be moved to raise your glass to silently toast the space set aside for your ancestors, or you may find other ways to honor them. It’s important to remain silent during the meal, and allow everyone to have time to have their own experiences. After the meal is finished, you may wish to share your experience of the meal with others. Each person can have a different, and very meaningful, story to tell, even if they are from the same family. Often, each person may have special memories to share about certain dishes, and the memories that are connected to them.
After the meal, in order to bring the dinner to and end and break the silence, the ancestors should be thanked and released. You may come up with your own words, or simply say, “Thank you.” We’re effectively letting our ancestors go. Thanking our ancestors and letting them go is important, because we are not asking for them to permanently come back to our world. We each have our own space. We’re simply honoring them and temporarily asking for them to share themselves and their wisdom with us.
As part of the meal, you may have a fireplace set up into which prayers, regrets or simple requests may be placed. Regrets might be things that you’re willing to let go of at this time. Requests might involve asking for help in some area of your life. During the meal, when you feel motivated, you can place your requests into the fire. The fire will consume these requests, and help you to lift any burdens that you may have.
It's best if you approach this meal with respect, reverence and compassion. This may involve some grace and forgiveness on your part. The meal is not meant to open or deepen old wounds. It's meant to be a conduit for healing and releasing parts of our lives that call for healing. The meal may stir some long lost memories that help you to cast new light on the past, and to help you make healing shifts in your life. Used in this capacity, the meal can help you and your family to heal the past, and prepare for the future.
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