Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion. Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world. Compassion allows us to bear witness to that suffering, whether it is in ourselves or others, without fear; it allows us to name injustice without hesitation, and to act strongly, with all the skill at our disposal. To develop this mind state of compassion...is to learn to live, as the Buddha put it, with sympathy for all living beings, without exception. ― Sharon Salzberg, Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
As Sharon writes here, compassion is not something that we can afford to live without. It’s something that we all need to navigate in the world today. We need it for ourselves, our families, communities and the world. But, it does start with you. Without first developing compassion for ourselves, it can be a struggle to offer true compassion for others. We must first accept that we need it and be willing to incorporate compassion into our lives.
How do you develop compassion? There are many ways you can use, and I’ll only name a few. You might have other techniques that work well for you. Work with whatever options are best for you. If you haven’t worked with any of these choices, then you can pick one or two and try them out. Work with your choice for a period of time and see how you feel.
- Have a kindness practice / Pay it forward practice
- Meditate on compassion regularly
- Do Tonglen on a regular basis
- Volunteer
- Keep a daily journal
- Have a gratitude practice
- Practice forgiveness
In addition to these practices don’t forget about your dreams! Don’t give up on them. Keep working with them and recognize that they’re offering you valuable insights. But, be willing to be gentle on yourself. At times, our dreams may bring a message that is at first hard to hear. But, that can indicate that the wisdom it offers is especially important.
As you begin to open your heart, and look at your dreams with compassion, you may begin to see their message in a new light. You might recognize the dream is indicating that a habit or trait you’ve felt bad about has actually served you in some way. This can be a very powerful understanding, especially if you can use it to mend your life and grow, instead of being defeated by it. For instance, it is one thing to accept that you may have a tendency toward being critical or bossy person. However, it is another thing to use that knowledge to hinder yourself or your spiritual growth. Have compassion for yourself and look to how that trait might help you be an effective leader. Be willing to look at how your perceived weakness can be modified to serve something positive.
I believe that compassion can help us to transform our lives. Also, know that compassion can transform your resistance into openness and acceptance. Being open can help you to live a more fulfilled life, and living in this way can help to transform your world. We are all powerful. We all have a place. We help to build a better world when we utilize our compassion for the betterment of everyone. Having compassion is about accepting that you are part of a connected world. It's about accepting that you are not alone. You actions do matter.